On jumping ship.

I love -- loved -- my job.

For the past four years, I taught Drama in a slightly flawed but ultimately redeemable school. I loved that I got to share my passion for performing with 500+ kids every year, I loved that I got to direct musicals, I loved that I got to know so many kids and, by extension, so many families, other teachers and staff.

I had established for myself what I like to think of as a position as leader. I had established that I was reliable, that I cared, that I had ideas and the initiative to act on them. I had the best interests of our students at heart. I wanted to effect positive change, I wanted all the things that I loved about the building to come to light.

And yet. At the same time, I wanted a little bit of a change. I had been teaching Drama for four years and I could feel it getting a bit stale. Oh sure, I could shake up my curriculum, and I would have, had something else not happened instead. I also started to think. I started to think about my future, about my past and about my position as an educator. What kind of difference did I really want to make?

You see, I student taught 3rd grade. I have a theatre degree in addition to teaching, but they were two separate entities. I always thought I would be somebody's 2nd, 3rd, 5th grade teacher, and I was excited about that. When I didn't get a teaching job right out of college, or the year after that, or the year after that, I would have taught underwater basketweaving if somebody was going to pay me a real salary to do it. They did me one better, though, and I got the Drama position. I always thought that I might want to go back to a classroom, but I wasn't in any rush.

Then, the ship started to sink. Morale in my building was down, the kids could sense it and it made my job HARD. Several good friends jumped off and swam to shore in the form of finding new jobs. But I stayed, and I tried. And I started to think about my options. And something I knew in my heart of hearts was that if I ever wanted a new job, it would be very hard to get hired when all my teaching experience was in fine arts. You see, nobody else has Drama in elementary school. So if I were to go somewhere else, it would be to teach 2nd or 3rd or 5th grade.

So when I got the opportunity to switch to a grade level, I took it. Next year I'll be teaching 5th grade. Same district, new building. New team, new content, new ... everything.

So what do we do when we change paths? I am used to being a leader, I am used to making a difference and having ideas and taking bold steps. But it took three good years to get to the point where I was comfortable enough, knew the building well enough to try things, and it took three good years to build the trust of my fellow teachers to the point where I could lead.

And I have to say, I've gotten used to it! I like it! I have always been a bit of an overachiever, always at the forefront, editing the newspaper in high school and college, in the Drama club, making choices, making change. My three years of un- and under-employment were HARD on me. I felt like a failure. And now here I am, jumping off the ship. I felt at home on that ship. Now I'm swimming towards a new one and I don't know what it holds.

I started this blog for grad school (hi, Deb!) but I have always done my best thinking and reflecting through writing. In middle school and high school and college I filled notebook after notebook with thoughts. I had online journals that my friends (and total strangers) could read.

So, I'm taking my blog with me on this new adventure. Join me as I write about teaching 5th grade, as I navigate the waters in a new building and as I try to establish myself as the go-to guy somewhere new.

I'm glad to have you along for the ride.

And I promise, I'll try to limit the ship metaphors from here on out.